|
I mentioned a week or two ago that, as foster/adoptive parents, attachment issues play a huge role in our family. I spend a lot of time thinking about love. In this case, I’m not talking about sentimental feelings or physical attraction, but the deep core that binds people together in good times and bad.
While love takes many forms, and I highly recommend The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis (You may be more familiar with his Chronicles of Narnia.) for deeper exploration, I’ve wondered what connects them all, and I have a working hypothesis.
Love is defined by who you are to someone.
When I’m trying to show my wife who she is to me by cooking for her, and then I burn the bacon thanks to my ADHD messing with my ability to multitask, I don’t feel lovable at that moment. But that smoke alarm has no effect whatsoever on who I am to her. When the dice roll high for the monsters and low for my players, resulting in a character death or TPK, I don’t feel lovable as a DM. But my players care about me more than their characters, so while the story changes, our relationship doesn’t. My kids could never do anything to make me love them any more or any less, because who they are to me has nothing to do with their actions.
No matter what your PC can do for the party, you’re a valuable part of that party, because you’re an integral part of the story everyone at that table weaves together. Your character is important because you as a player are important, regardless of how the dice treat you or whether you’ve optimized your character’s abilities. And neither your ability, your physical or mental health, your personal resources, nor your past change your value as a person or who you are to those who love you.
I haven’t met most of you, but I can honestly tell you that I love and value you. That may sound like marketing speak in an email like this, but I spend as much time looking for viable ways to give more away and provide value to you (My anxiety fuels my passion to create quality products.) as I do looking for ways to make money. To me, the goal of financial (and other resource) solvency is to be able to make others’ lives better. You are someone I care about. You are someone I want to benefit. And you are someone I want to help to benefit others. You are someone I love because that’s who you are to me. You are loved.
Take a moment now, even if you forget to read the rest of this email (I know I probably would.), to think of the people in your life, who you are to them, and who they are to you. Send a note to let them know.
Then think about those who aren't in your life but you still care about deeply, like those with a particular experience or marginalized or suffering people groups. Figure out how you could convey love to them.
Love is the most exciting, most noble, and most challenging quest you'll embark on. So grab your rations and tools-of-choice, and journey forth! |
